Saturday, November 15, 2008

The C that's really an A

It's hard to put into words exactly what I (as well as my wife obviously) went through Wednesday night through Thursday morning. So I'll do my best to describe the highs and lows in a few shorter stories

***

When I came home on Wednesday night after work, the apartment was empty. I called my wife and got no answer. Tried my mom, who told me she was out with the wife and that she was already in early labor, experiencing rather regular contractions. When they returned, I just smiled at my dear wife ... This was going to be the night it seemed. As we started timing and dealing with her contractions, I started going through my mind how I'd try to help my wife through this experience. With every stronger contraction, her discomfort resulted in an even stronger grasp of my two fingers (Credit to Aaron Hyman for teaching me the 'finger saving' method of 2 vs 3). By 10:30pm, we were off to the hospital.

***

My mind was racing. I was focused on helping Tals through this but I was getting excited. After tonight, I'd be a father. It's something I always longed for ... a family ... And now it was only hours away.

***

For over six hours, 'we' fought through each and every contraction. I say 'we' though I know I was but a helper, doing my best to keep her focused on her breathing and the fact that we'd get through this. After a few good hours of contractions, we were exhausted. We used every few minutes of quiet to close our eyes and sleep, only for Talya to awaken to the start of another contraction, and yet another strong clench of my fingers.

***

The pain was too much at one point - Talya wanted an epidural. By the time the papers had arrived to approve the epidural, Talya was close to be given the 'go ahead' for a natural birth. All hell was about to break loose.

***

A decreasing heartbeat got the doctors worried immediately. They tried to help the kid, but he wasn't responding at all. It continued to sink. "Emergency C Section now," the doctor barked into her cellphone. I look at Talya, she was scared. I was petrified. I turned around to get our bags to move and as I turned back, they were out of the room. I ran outside and they were gone. "Where is my wife?" I screamed. I had no idea where she was going and I wanted to be with her - we were in this together and I had to be next to her. A 23 year old Shasnik came outside. Seeing me in distress, he quickly pointed me over to the operation room. I got to the door, and the doctor said firmly, "Sorry, we'll keep you updated but you're not allowed in."

***

I watched the door shut, and burst into tears. I was alone, my wife was alone. I could do nothing to help her. I have never felt so scared, so useless in my life. The tears flowed down as I grabbed my 'Books of Pslams' and just held it. The 23 year old returned to me, and assured me, "You know who the Surgeon really is." I opened the book and started reciting some psalms. His mother-in-law followed shortly. "What's her name?", she asked calmly, "I'll pray for her." I looked at her and smiled, "You should be with your daughter now, she needs you too." Refusing to take no for an answer, she continued, "You are part of my nation, I will be with you too."

***

Alone again, I managed to calm myself down slightly. But the fear still gripped me. Please, let me see my wife again and let my kid be healthy. Scary thoughts started entering my mind, only to be shattered by a newborn cry of arrival.

***

"You have a beautiful son," the nurse said, "And your wife will be ok." I smiled. I quickly rang my mom and my mother-in-law before following my son to the nursery. After snapping a picture, I ran to the recovery ward. About thirty minutes later, I was allowed in to see my exhausted wife. In obvious discomfort, she smiled as I showed her the picture of our little angel.

***

Stay tuned for more about baby Piha as the days progress ...

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