A regular Shabbat meal. We
start reciting birkat ha’mazon and Alma sings most of Bendigamos, and proceeds
to mumble most of Ya Komimos minutes later. As I watch my youngest, I begin to
tear up. This is something I would have eagerly shared with Nonna … and that’s
just not possible anymore.
The reality that the Corona
virus has created – a shiva where phone & video calls were the only
way to stay in touch with Dad or not attending a minyan to have a hashcava
said for her – has made the mourning period extremely odd. Nonna’s been gone
for over a month, and yet, it just hasn’t sunk in that this phenomenal lady is
no longer with us.
I’ve struggled since she passed
to put anything in words about her, or about our relationship. Nothing seems to
do justice to how important a figure she was in my life. So I thought I’d just share
a few of my stories about this lovely lady.
- Cape Town has always been special for me. Despite leaving when I was
merely six months old – I’ve always had a strong connection to this
beautiful city, partially due to it being our family’s most frequented vacation
stop but mostly due to the fact my grandparents all lived there. Every
time I was there, it was just great fun with four loving, caring
grandparents who spoiled me non-stop. The memories at Nonna & Nonnou’s
start with the incredible view from 505 Trafalgar Place – Lion’s Head in
all its glory. After that, the movies, the great meals, and the fun
sleepovers, where I’d always look forward to waking up to a bowl of strawberry
pops, a peanut butter & jam sandwich & a peeled mango. Anything to
make me, and my siblings, happy.
- One of my favorite
vacations was our drive from Istanbul through western Turkey – from Izmir
to Bodrum to Marmaris to Rhodes to Antalya and then back home. Nonna,
already in her sixties, accompanied us on the three-week trip in the
Renault Espace. So many memories on that trip – from the beaches, to the
restaurants, to my little brother crying (with Mom & Nonna laughing)
as Dad, Tova & I went on a camel ride, the Pamukkale springs, the Cappadocia
rocks etc. Nonna always visited us after we left Cape Town, be it in
Johannesburg, Kibbutz Gesher Ha’Ziv, Ra’anana, Istanbul, Milan or
Scarsdale/New Rochelle - always schlepping across the globe to
spend quality time with her family.
- During university – you
know, before the cellphone world arrived – my dorm room in 2000 had its
own phone line. When reviewing international phone charges, I realized I
could call South Africa at a reasonable cost. Thus started my weekly calls
with Gramps (Granny had passed in ’96), Nonna & Nonnou (he would pass a
few weeks into the school year). Every week, I’d talk to Nonna and would
share what was happening in my life, while listening to her updates and
the only weather forecast I listened to weekly for the last twenty years!
It strengthened our bond tremendously.
- Before Moshe Kachlon’s
cellphone reform, I rarely ever called Nonna once I made Aliyah. However,
when Liverpool won the Champions League on May 25th, 2005, the
next day a SMS arrived from her, “Congratulations for the Boys.” That was
special … I kept that SMS until that Nokia broke.
- When Talya and I got
engaged, I ‘introduced’ her to Nonna on the phone. As they chatted on the
phone for the first time, I could hear Nonna’s excitement that her future
granddaughter-in-law spoke French. That was the beginning of the special
bond they shared.
- My first son Nissim was
born in November 2008. He was named after Nonnou, Nonna’s late husband.
When Dad and I called her from the bimah after the brit and she
heard the name, she cried and thanked me emotionally. She struggled to say
his name for a long time … but when she did, it was very emotional … מדור לדור
- In 2010, Talya & I
made our first trek to South Africa to visit Nonna. Months before her 80th
birthday, she moved to her spare room and let us sleep in her room. It was
quite the gesture. For the next few weeks, I couldn’t stop watching her
& Nissim interact [Nissim would start walking in her apartment].
- One of Nonna’s favorite
sayings to me was, “You made me a Nonna.” Eventually, I started preempting
her by saying, “You made me a grandson,” which she would always laugh at.
- I used to call Nonna every
Monday and Friday. However, it was important I kept her on her toes, so on
one Tuesday call … “Hi Mrs Piha, this is Sipho calling you from NedBank.”
“Who?” she replied. “Mrs. Piha, it’s Sipho and I’m calling you as there is
a problem with your bank account and we need you to come to the branch to
verify some details.” This went on for a few minutes before I let on it
was just Sipho Piha. As she laughed through the tirade of words like s****p
and m****q (not fit for publication!), I couldn’t stop laughing
… I got her a few times with the odd accents through the years, but it
became harder and harder as she knew what to expect with the early morning
calls!
- Before my final trip to see Nonna, I was talking to her during my daily trek from the city center to work. As our conversation was winding down, I asked her, “I’ll be there in a few days Nonna – what can I bring? Halva? massa de vino? Massapan?” “You are my massapan Avrami,” was her short response and I stopped right before Tzomet Bar Ilan and cried. I don’t know if she picked up on it as I tried to continue talking through the tears … it’s a conversation that will stay with me forever.
I accompanied Dad on what would be
our last two trips to see Nonna in 2019 and early 2020. These trips were not
easy – she was ready to go, had aged a lot since the last time we
saw her, and her quality of life was all but gone. I’m glad I went – to talk to
her when she was able, to laugh with her, to hear her sing or hum Ladino songs
and just to be around her one last time. I miss her terribly … and I’m just
grateful I had 39 years to enjoy, appreciate and revel in her special love.
Ke respose en Gan Eden - סילביה בת צדוק ולאה ישראל
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